Monday, September 13, 2004 Bye Friend

I've lost hope in a friend. I'm a terrible person aren't I? ...I tried. I tried so damn hard...I tried too hard. I knew that my efforts were all in vain from the very beginning...so why does it still hurt? I was always there whenever my friend needed me. I supported, I listened, I was there...whenever I was needed. I cared. I trully cared. I wanted to know. I wanted to listen. I wanted to help. But, I was never allowed to. This frustrated me.    Instead, I was pushed away. I was left in the dark. I was used... Tears today. Tears of self-pity because of how I've been treated by this person. This part makes me feel so stupid. How could I let myself get there?! I'm so effing stupid! All along...I cared....and all along, no one cared in return. But I'm moving on and heaven help me not turn back. Therefore, bye "friend." I'm glad I was there to be a friend for you. I'm sad because your friendship was not real. ...I know that now.