Monday, May 02, 2005 ...

I think one of my best friends will be leaving me soon- off to another part of the country...I'm starting to lose the battle against the meloncholy that I have been forcing myself to ignore. I knew this feeling would come and that it would be hard. Because it is. Even sitting in my cubicle, I get lost in the moments of sadness. And all the good times will become good memories. Just memories. Because I won't have him around to create those moments with me anymore. Well, the word "might" is still there...but, I don't know... I'd rather just face the music, you know.     He means a great deal to me. Its funny because he practically just fell into my life and a great friendship just blossomed on its own along with many fun adventures...almost without influence from anyone or anything. Our bond, just happened and couldn't be denied. He is such a wonderful and an extraordinary friend- and person for that matter. But, I always knew that about him, even before we got as close. And I wanted to take a role and play a part in the scene, at least before the curtains came down, you know.    I'm so sad right now... but I have been for a little while now, one small dose at a time. I want to believe that whatever happens is for the best. I know it will be. And I guess that's what I want, probably- because whatever happens will also be better for him too...and I know he wants better. The better, will win. And let it be. It just won't be the same without my weekend warrior, my partner in crime, my right-hand man...I will miss him.