Reality Hits, Nov 4, 2006 , 12:32 AM

i walked into the livingroom and saw no one I knew...that's when I began bawling...

not like a child...but like a grown woman who lost something that she'd forced herself to deny for so long, but realized meant so much.
his songs still play in my car all the time..stirring up memories of the best times of my life...he wasn't there to greet me on the spur of the moment this time...when I was out on the prowl, looking for something exciting.  we were always looking for excitement. This time I felt...nothing...nothing.
i was left alone again for the second time...and I didn't realize how much I would miss him....again.   I miss him again.  My friend.  Who I pretended wasn't my friend for too long.  But he is.
And I miss him already.  Even though he just left 3 days ago, and that he probably doesn't care, or ever really cared about me.
I made him my friend anyway. Now my friend is gone.  And he plans to be gone for a long time...
what are we to do now that he's decided to leave us again?
with him..we were more whole than we seem to be now.
Man, did I bawl.