My Beautiful One, Apr 10, 2007, 8:00 PM

Now, it is silver and silent.
It is silver and cold.
You in somber resplendence,
I hold... Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one now
Your sins into me.
As a rapturous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
and I'll beg for forgiveness.
Your sins into me,
Your sins into me This song, though old and probably hardly a favorite for anyone...reminds me of a time where everything revolved around a small group of people that meant my entire life.  Without a care or a coin, we tested, explored, and held tight to what we were, because it was all we had. We evolved together.
But it also makes me think of her.
She changed my life.  She taught me how to love, even if she never loved me at all.  She taught me to love myself and how to open up to different people.  We could talk about everything and then nothing at all because we thought alike, as if we had shared thoughts our entire lives and were destined to meet. She helped me learn how to laugh, how to hold friendships, how to listen. My world was once very limited, stressful, and lonely, until she brought me into her's...I never knew how to breathe until I met her. 
I do hold her in somber resplendence...as the song says; which we used to listen to for countless hours together.
I feel no anger anymore, just sadness.  I loved her.  At least I loved the "her" that she presented to me.  When I lost her; she was lost forever. I can only wonder why my beautiful one had to tear herself away.
Your sins into me...indeed, if I could command her sins into myself so that I can beg her forgiveness, I would; delivering her from what she had done not only to me, but to many people she left behind in the cold.
She is but a memory now; a memory that still grips me when I hear this song. She will never know how important she was to me...and to all of us.