Tuesday, May 3, 2011

What a Drag, Feb 1, 2008, 12:06 AM

the hours feel so slow tonight.  this whole week feels so slow.  my life has been drastically simplified to work, finding auditions, and sleep.

i mean this is what i came here for afterall.  God, I would love it here if I didn't have this void. 

i found a lone cigarette in a box i bought december of last year. heh...

i smoked it. it gave me a high...but it kinda sucked too. it hurt my throat. well, now i have none, so hey.

sigh...

geez man. it's cold.  i look like frumplestiltskin trying to get warm.

i can't get close to anyone.  everyone likes to go clubbing and talk shit about their own friends...that's all they ever talk about.  well, i guess i'm just talking about my co-workers because that's all i've met.

i've perused people sites to see if i could meet someone, you know. someone to hang out with that clicks with me.

but i can't get myself to sign up for that shit.

i know i chose this but i didn't expect to feel so abandoned and not worth the time of day...or a two hour drive. don't worry...i'm not talking about most of you.

i really don't mind that most of you don't waste your gas...i mean, i don't have much to offer here anyway.

i used to be able to have a house for partying, with kareoke, hookahs, kegs, a roof, sometimes a dj; for making friends and all.

i couldn't throw a party in my little hole even if i wanted to...though i'm slowly starting to move towards risking it.



i wish i could go out alone late at night without worrying about being harassed...just so i can find more people like me.




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