Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Put Put, Apr 19, 2008, 4:11 PM

I just replaced my car battery and alternator two weeks ago, and yet, my car still managed to die on me today.
Sitting in my lemon, I just let myself loose in acceptance.  Ha, go on, give it to me; luck was never my thing. This is independent living, huh? On your own;  completely on your own.  Other people are so lucky to have their groups of friends always there to rescue them.  I just figured, if I can pull through this single, independent life, I'll be that much stronger.
Then again, I wonder if it will make me that much more bitter and callous...why am I so alone?  I never wanted to be Miss Universe! I wish I had a choice in how strong I was to be! No one loves me enough to be near me...
Heh, that can throw me down a very dark well of self pity and loathing...so I'll resist going there for as long as I can. God, I feel like a time bomb...waiting to just give up, instead of explode.
It could have been worse...I could have been on the freeway, like last time. Luckily this time, I was parked in front of an auto dealership and they had a charging machine thing.  Hell, I should get myself one of those.
Please, God...just throw something good at me.  Something really, really good.  Please, let me feel absolute joy even for a moment.  I need just a little boost...I'm growing so weary.

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