I locked myself in today; comforted by my bed and the silence, and the solitude.
I can travel and adventure through books and the internet...I figure. There's no other way to escape but these now.
I cried all day. To the point of bringing on a migraine headache...and thoughts of death, darkness, and doom naturally infiltrated my already pessimistic mind. Things were supposed to be better by now. Change for the better dangled in front of me for most of the year, only to implode into nothing again.
Its been a long time since I've been able to really live.
The smallest sliver of courage and of hope came with my shining knight at the last hours of dusk.
In his embrace, I felt peace. I felt the manifestation of a what I imagine agape love could feel like. I was rescued. I needed this. And through only this, I am grateful enough to find the worth of the last twenty-six years of my life on this earth, and for the next one beginning today.
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