The things you're doing causes me to feel unloved and it's not hard to see why. And, now you've removed yourself from supporting me at all. Great for me. My first blog proves to have been a superficial point of denial and not hope.
Well. Now that that's out of the way...I wonder what you've come up with. I hope you're not drowning in sorrow, because that's what were trying to avoid. We're being positive remember...holding on to the light that we both feel remains.
Can't you forgive me for blaspheming in my drunkeness!? I have done that for you countless times...and I'm still here. I'm always here. Even in our separation.; always wishing you would be stronger. Gosh, I am resentful. But, I can heal and learn to forgive. Though my self esteem and pride have drowned, and I've been soo wrong in bringing up break-up all the time...what you are doing to me has turned out to be....fair. I throw my arms up with, "Fair enough."
I'm a "5" and I want the relationship to be a "10." I read a book today on this. I cannot have a "10" relationship because I, myself, lack the skills that it takes for that level of a relationship. It's like, I'm wishing for someone to come around and be perfect...but that's stupid and will never happen.
Dammit. I do like what I have wth you. I want us to make it. But, we need to learn how to listen and respond in a way where we're not competing, or trying to win, and rather in a way where we take responsibility for the feelings we cause each other to feel. Then, move forward to switch it around until the other feels better.
I'm learning a lot in this stupid break that I hate so much. LOL.
I miss you. Asshole.
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