so im now forced to stay up. mac is out in my car, covered in his own vomit.
i thought i'd leave him in my car. but i noticed he was sweating bullets, and i began thinking scary thoughts and feeling sorry, so i dragged a blanket and a pillow to my car so i could just sleep next to him and hear him breathe.
but i couldnt sleep. he kept gurgling. so, in an effort to fix things, i tried to wake him up. when i got him to make audible, though nonsensical replies, he would just grunt. then he threw up all over the sidewalk and on his pants.
sigh. this is the second time actually. before missouri, he never did this.
now, i can't seal him safely in the car because his head and feet are hanging out and he might puke in the car. i also dont want to sleep in the car with him now, because he might puke on me. =P
so, i took out my phone and recorded him in this state to show him tomorrow for vengeance. i may seem mad right now, but overall im worried.
sigh.
im so sleepy. besides the fact that i wanted to talk to him tonight. he always ditches me to hang out with his friends when we hang out with them and tonight i spent the majority of the later hours sleeping in the car, getting way sobered up; bitter. earlier when we hung out with my friend, i made sure mac wasn't isolated or singled out. i never let him feel isolated. but whatever, i guess. it's not like he'll remember anything anyway.
speaking of not caring (or whatever), he keeps on avoiding a conversation that we shouldn've had days ago, about a female friend of his. i hope we talk about this soon, too, because im really starting to think he doesn't care.
i called justin for assistance. he helped me feel more secure about leaving mac outside. im supposed to let him sleep and check up on him every now and then, apperently. i could use someone's help right now. i don't like being in this spot, if you know me at all, you know exactly why.
sigh.
at least i had my bonfire, and beer, and Topher--a good time. ((I had so much fun with Topher at his bonfire. He and I will be planning one for next weekend. We kinda isolated ourelves, though, because half the people at the fire were strangers, even to the bonfire host. There were people with a drum ensemble next to us. Topher totally crippled my right boob too! Ugh, that bastard. MAny a conversation about theater, old friends, scenic peeing, cops, hooker names, the name Topher, sand, pirates, and a slew of other random themes, ensued. We all got really wasted, a little too quickly.))
---the night was all fun and games until we dropped Christopher off and mac and i got to scolari's. that's where i got ditched of course, so mac can over-drink hard liquor on a belly full of beer, ditch me for his friends, and pass out in my car so he can hang out obviously for onlookers to see and think me a bad girlfriend.
dont get me wrong. i care about him. im just venting right now. and trying to stay awake so i can go and check on the man. ill proly erase this blog.
or not.
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