Sunday, January 15, 2006 The Test of Change

i have become the biggest hermit ever...man, this is quite a slump. i need to get out and soon.

i had the opportunity to party last night, and i heard the party was fun too (before the cops broke it up), but did i go out? noooooooooo...

I FELL ASLEEP.  daggnammit.  why, oh why!?

well, at least my bowel movements are getting back in order...lol.  man, you never know how thankful you are for shit until your shit is shitty for more than a week and all you can hope for is that your next day's shit is less shitty, i tell ya.

so, i've had a lot of time to just think about things.  you know, you'll never really know someone...that's what i say.  people change constantly, their opinions change, their styles change, and so forth.  after a week, someone you think you know might be a completely different person.  this is sort of creepy, somewhat
disheartening, and yet exciting to me.  i mean there is no way to truly know a person.  its gotto be impossible. there's just no constant to grasp onto.

my friend and i reminisced for a short time, about the fun we used to have.  i still miss those days.  party every night at the joho's, or some ho's, or some dude's, drinking, smoking, experimenting, debating, game playing, love-making 2 days at a time, 7 times a week, man.  that can't be what it takes for real friendship. ha! you've got to be kidding me. sadly, i have no other evidence.  there was a lot of love then.

i mean, people hate these days. it’s probably because we got to know each other and didnt like what we saw.  or, like i said earlier, people changed...being as inconsistent as we are and started resisting each other like magnets. new people came; old people dropped...valuable old people dropped.

my friend and i were a bit sad that we both became hermits; forced to do the adult thing, work, bills and nothing else...it reminded me of the time when we were both unemployed and we blew all our savings on partying and booze. man that was fun.  we suffered for it later, but nothing can take away those days.  i still miss the "us" we used to be.  When life was only about making memories and we fucked work, school, and money. 

don't get me wrong, those things were always important; we just didn't hold them as the main point of living back then.  i had the best times in my life being broke. me and my broke friends being creative in our own ways to still have a good time.

I think, maybe, I should throw a party for once.  I haven't in such a long time. I have doubts that it will work.  But, I want the situation remedied...I want us to have fun again.  The question is, have we all just changed to the point of no return?