Sunday, April 30, 2006 The New Sunday

I am alone.
(emo. isn't it sickening?)
No friends...
My best friend is missing in action...
The Male has his friends...
But, I should have friends too...and the idea makes me sick to ask if I can hang out with his friends...it feels so wrong.
I shouldn't have to ask.  I should never have to ask...
Fuck. I asked, though...
Nowhere to go.
Soon, I will have no car. I mean, I already have no job.  I feel like I have nothing...
I have nothing here.
Tonight was the night for a grand hurrah...but, I am alone.
Will this be my Sunday from now on?  I have to admit...I guess I couldn't expect any different.  Ha...I must be being punished.
I wish I had someone to drink with...on a cliff at the beach; sharing a drink, sharing a moment.  Laughing...someone who cares to be with me.  Or at least, someone who misses me, you know.
I miss the bonfires...I miss the old days...I miss intimacy.
I was always rescued...in the old days.
Gosh...even those days were so very long ago.
I wonder who my Knight in Shining Armor will be tonight...if any at all.
Vodka?
sigh...

9:14 PM