Head of Security: Destroyer of the Destructive.

A "Code Green" patient, on methamphetamine, who had been observed to hear voices in his head during an earlier mental evaluation, had the nurses calling for the head of security.   Now tied down, the patient thrashes about violently and threatens the hospital staff.

The Head of Security comes in and asks the sick man what his issue was and why was he felt entitled to cause the nurses grief. As though wanting to prove that even a security guard couldn't rain on his parade,  the crazy man begins threatening the guard, "What are you gonna do? You want to slap me? Come on then, hit me."

The guard calmly looks at the deranged fellow.

Again, the druggie taunts, "Come on, go ahead, slap me. Hit me," and starts slapping his own face to prove his apathy towards the guard's presence.

Finally, the guard responds,"I don't want to hit you..." And, with a face of complete stoicism intermingled with the subdued intensity of a clenched jaw and piercing eyes, the guard bends over the crazy man to whisper into his ear, "Actually, I wanna STAB YOUR NECK."

Dumbstruck with widened eyes, the junkie winces in a tone akin to a whining child on a playground to a nurse nearby for rescue, "Nuuuuurse, this guard wants to stab my neck."

The nurse chuckles and informs the crazy man, recalling his diagnosis of schizophrenia, that he is wrong and that the guard is, in fact the best they had and is merely there to bring additional care.

For the duration of that evening, the mentally unstable man is ironically lorded over by one crazier than himself, and he knew it.

The Head of Hospital Security is my father.

Newness

Ok, let me quickly say that my last post seemed rather religiously charged, maybe even typical. But, in truth, I don't know what God is. Nor, am I very religious. I simply can't deny that something conscious, responds to me and has always done so.  I revere the Bible, religious art, and other artifacts that were created from inspired peoples.

Now story time:

I had painfully broken up with who I thought was the man of my life. After a few days, I get invited to go out to a bar called The Ruby Room and go dancing. In my numbness, I figured it couldn't hurt.

As I cross the threshold of the bar door, I cross paths and meet eyes with an attractive man. As we glanced at each other, it felt like a distortion in the space-time continuum. I collected my intentions and let the moment pass and I walked in as he continued walking out.

I then go to the bar to purchase a drink, and I feel the sensation again. The man stood behind me...I imagine he could inhale the essence of my hair. Again, I felt a twinge of excitement. Regardless, of the amount of attractive people that were there that night, for some reason, this guy stood out.

I move on and find my friends. We dance, watch a fashion show, drink, and reminisce of times long past. I meet their mutual friends in the revelry and the night progressed wonderfully.

As I danced, the man I saw approached me. He then asked if he could dance with me. I accept and he twirls me around and we dance in a mixture of robot/goof/romance. I found myself laughing sincerely the entire time. It was refreshing to feel good again.

The bar was closing and "last call" was called. Then he asks for my number. Reluctant, I tell him to find me on Facebook and use his pen to scribble my name on his arm, before heading towards the door with my friends. As I did this, I feel his mouth almost brush my lips before I hastily moved my head away. It was way too much. But, then he quickly drew back and asked if he could just kiss my cheek. With that, I was fine, and we parted.

Eleven days ago, this same man, at this same bar, pulls me aside from my friends, and his. He tells me that he needs to ask me a question that takes a lot out of him to ask. He is tense, but with a sincere look in his eyes. He asks me if I would accept being his girlfriend. I tell him, I'd be more than happy to accept. And, he pulls me in for a deep, and impassioned kiss as our surroundings faded into the distance, our fears, our personal walls, and it was just he and I.

Adventure begins again...

My God.

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be you shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at
noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord, who is my
refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling;
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall
trample underfoot."



In the midst of darkness...I reached for faith. Everything is crumbling; everything I have built. I had been betrayed by my own blood, and left alone to gasp for air in a very deep and unrelenting pool.

I spoke out loud to my God. I asked Him to talk to me. I pleaded for His help earnestly and sincerely.  I held my Bible, as it's tangibility provided further assurance, and allowed my heart to lead my hands through the pages. What I found was uncanny. I read this, and found my comfort, and my God's voice, in this volatile world. Had I mentioned The Bible first, in this post, would you have given these verses a chance?

Unbeknownst to me and at the same time, my sister was several miles away praying with her best friend that I would find comfort. She wept when I later read this to her and told her how her prayer had simultaneously been answered by my finding, Psalm 91: 1-13.

It is through events like this that I know my God exists. And, that He loves me.

Everything is going to be okay.